Dependent personality disorder

Am gonna post some of the passages from this article:


  • Persons with dependent personality disorder are docile, passive, and nonassertive
  • They exert a great deal of energy to please others, are self-sacrificing, and constantly attempt to elicit the approval of others
  • They are easily influenced and can be taken advantage of easily
  • Patients with dependent personality disorder have a low level of confidence in their own intelligence and abilities
  • They often have difficulty making decisions and undertaking projects on their own
  • They are prone to be pessimistic, self-doubting, and belittle their own accomplishments
  • They shy away from responsibility in occupational settings
  • Affected individuals are uneasy being alone and are preoccupied with the fear of being abandoned or rejected by others
  • Their style of thinking is naïve, uncritical, and lacks discretion


It is commonly thought that the development of dependence in these individuals is a result of over-involvement and intrusive behavior by their primary caretakers. Caretakers may foster dependence in the child to meet their own dependency needs, and may reward extreme loyalty but reject attempts the child makes towards independence. Families of those with dependent personality disorder are often do not express their emotions and are controlling; they demonstrate poorly defined relational roles within the family unit.

Individuals with dependent personality disorder often have been socially humiliated by others in their developmental years. They may carry significant doubts about their abilities to perform tasks, take on new responsibilities, and generally function independently of others. This reinforces their suspicions that they are incapable of living autonomously. In response to these feelings, they portray a helplessness that elicits caregiving behavior from some people in their lives.

  • Have difficulty making common decisions.  Needs excessive amounts of advise.
  • Need others to assume responsibility for them.  Withdraw responsibilities by acting passive and helpless.
  • Have difficulty expressing disagreement with others
  • Have difficulty initiating or doing things on their own.  Lacks self-confidence.
  • Feel helpless when alone. Because they feel incapable of caring for themselves, they experience significant anxiety when alone. To avoid being alone, they may be with people in whom they have little interest

Am I *TOOL* dependent?

One of my colleagues struck me by saying “you are tool dependent”.   From the very moment he said that to me, I agree deep within – although I never answer or loudly answer YES.  I know what he means by that and now I’m asking myself that very question.  In order to answer that question, lets define first what being tool dependent is?

  • Explores a lot of tools, recursively
  • Is lazy
  • Yet is ideal
  • The goal is to produce or optimize things with very little effort
  • Does not focus on the subject matter but instead focuses on the tools to accomplish the problem or the subject matter
  • Kills time for tool exploration
  • Plays alot with the tools
  • Spends time doing boilerplate codes
  • A tool slave – relies on the tools very much
  • Always buying time or always lacks time
  • Never get things done
  • Couldn’t get things done without the tools
  • Having a hard time controlling oneself
  • Does not have self-discipline
  • Have an attention deficit disorder
  • Easily persuaded by tools
  • Jack of all trades, master of none
  • Critical thinker
  • Creative thinker to the point of once a problem occurs, the solution instantaeneously pops out of the brain and then performs research about what tool accomplishes the problem instead of analyzing the problem first and then acting after.
  • An action man without thinking first
  • You overly submit oneself to that way
  • Has a lot of options because of the result of finding a lot of possible tools and solutions to solving a particular problem.
  • Always planning to escape being tool dependent but cannot
  • Tends to over-analyze things

From this definition alone, I would say I am.  Well, I just made up this definition from what I understand to be a tool dependent.

Upon reflecting, here I think are ways to escape from being a tool dependent person.

  • A determination to change
  • An everyday re-assessment of goals if it gets done
  • Focus and focus on solving the subject matter by not relying from the tools
  • Organize
  • Follow up
  • Focus on personal development – by not using those tools
  • Have a general sense of whats happening – have a birds eye view
  • Think first before acting
  • Always rely to oneself.  Don’t be dependent to things – and don’t escape the situation
  • Develop a sense of independence
  • Believe in your own competency
  • Gain personal mastery and self-control

Systematic way of tackling tool dependence.

  • Being dependent on things means holding on desperately to things to give life a meaning or direction.  In this case, to give you a desired solution to the problem you are tackling.
  1. Be willing to let go of the tools.  Begin by resenting those tools that can keep you back from all that you are capable of.
  2. Have the ability to self-initiate and lead oneself.
  3. Limit the tool selection to just 3, so that at least you have the options.
  4. Don’t over-analyze things for your pleasure.
  5. Practice, practice, practice.  From what I’ve heard, all it takes to acquire a habit is to perform it for two weeks consistently.  For example, if you are lazy to brush your teeth everyday – and you want to do something about it; train your mind and *do* it for two weeks and it becomes a habit.

Development using IntelliJ IDEA and Maven 2

Setting up IntelliJ IDEA

  • Download IntelliJ IDEA from
  • Install it
  • Run it for the first time and put your license key
  • You should enable all plugins especially the Subversion repository plugin
  • Modify the C:\Program Files\JetBrains\IntelliJ IDEA 8.1\bin\idea.exe.vmoptions to this (settings vary depending on your computer):

Setting up Maven 2

  • Download it from Apache Maven website:
  • Extract it
  • Put a MAVEN_OPTS variable environment to contain JVM options

Generating IDEA project files

There are two ways to generate IDEA project files. I recommend the IDEA based since its more efficient if at a later time the pom.xml keeps changing. Details as follows:

  1. Maven based:
    • Execute mvn idea:idea from the downloaded quicktrip-core
    • Resulting files would be core-parent.ipr which you could double-click to open
  2. IntelliJ IDEA based:
    • Run IntelliJ IDEA
    • Create a new project
    • Import the parent pom.xml – this will cause IDEA to read pom.xml and modules under it
    • Choose the desired profile
    • Add facets and spring beans when asked

Pre tested commits (Test driven development using Continuous Integration server)

After 30 mins of looking into Google and comparing for a good continuous integration server (CI server), I came across this TeamCity CI server.   It is a continuous integration and build management system.  You can set up a build server within minutes and enjoy out of the box continuous unit testing, code quality analysis, and early reporting on build problems. It offers a gentle learning curve, so you can quickly improve your release management practices by gradually adopting its advanced features and capabilities.  What I like most about this is the so called pre-tested commits – which works under the promise of leaving no broken code in your version control.

The standard committing scenario goes like this:

Standard commit scenario

And as promised by this build and CI server, the process goes like this:


Now, ain’t it cool even to think that you leave no broken code in the repository?

The only thing I have in mind is what if I committed many times, and there are 5 developers – like me – committed at least 5 times.  Since this CI server verifies committed code first before actually committing it to the repository, and our code base is huge (takes 30 mins of maven build time), what will this CI do to account for verifying each commit?  Will this slow down significantly since it requires building and verifying each commit? Or will it solve this hypothetical question with an out of the box solution – just like what this integration server is?

A lot can be found @

Get things done with ultradian sprint

Got this from the website:


It has been statistically proved that distractions are costly: A temporary shift in attention from one task to another – stopping to answer an e-mail or take a phone call, for instance – increases the amount of time necessary to finish the primary task by as much as 25%, a phenomenon known as “switching time”. It’s far more efficient to fully focus for 90 to 120 minutes, take a true break, and then fully focus on the next activity. We refer to these work periods as “ultradian sprints.”

  1. Set clear goals
  2. Kill distractions
    1. Listen to music.
    2. Unplug the Internet connection if you don’t require it.
    3. Tell colleagues not to disturb you.
    4. Switch cell phone off.
    5. Use distraction free tools like Darkroom.
  3. Set a timer
    1. Focus your attention
    2. Create a sense of urgency
  4. Determine not to stop before the time is up
  5. Aim to accomplish as much as possible
  6. Take true break

Hope this helps!

How to focus and keep things going

Sometimes I find myself out of focus.  The million dollar question is how do I program my mind to focus.  How do I keep things on track?  I believe that when you ask this question to yourself, you will find answers from within.

There are good books related to the topic such as Focal Point from Brian Tracy that keeps you in perspective.  Basically teaches you how to get things organized, what is important in your life and what should you focus about.  There are books also related to accomplishing things like Getting things done by David Allen, which more likes a methodology and instructs you a simple process of how to get things done without cluttering your mind.

According to this article, there are five levels of focus.  And that if you want to succeed, you should focus on these five.

  1. Lifetime
  2. Yearly
  3. Weekly
  4. Daily
  5. Currently

Lifetime.  Ahh, the most difficult thing is finding your purpose in life.  Here’s how to have a lifetime goal:

  1. Find what matters to you (so much you care about it that you are willing to do it for free) – hmm, what is it for me?
  2. Develop a portfolio of passions (I sure have lots of these)

    portfolio of passions
    portfolio of passions
  3. Find the intersection between what matters and passions.
  4. Make a mission statement (1 sentence)
  5. Refine, start from step 1.

Yearly.  Yearly level of your lifetime goals.  Develop a goal for the year related to your lifetime.

Weekly. Goals to accomplish yearly goals.

Daily. Goals to accomplish weekly goals.  Do the most important tasks that will make the most difference.

And so on.

To get optimum results, you should:

  1. Not multitask
  2. Prevent distraction
  3. Make use of the ultradian sprint to accomplish as much as possible.

Determine your weakness in these 5 levels.  Is it yearly? weekly?  Mine is that I dont set a yearly and weekly goals.  Daily just happens to be what I accomplish as things happen, not what I should do to make things happen.  In short, my lifetime goal is just a dream and I should clear this from the start to straighten things a bit.