Dependent personality disorder

Am gonna post some of the passages from this article:

http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Dependent-personality-disorder.html

Definition:

  • Persons with dependent personality disorder are docile, passive, and nonassertive
  • They exert a great deal of energy to please others, are self-sacrificing, and constantly attempt to elicit the approval of others
  • They are easily influenced and can be taken advantage of easily
  • Patients with dependent personality disorder have a low level of confidence in their own intelligence and abilities
  • They often have difficulty making decisions and undertaking projects on their own
  • They are prone to be pessimistic, self-doubting, and belittle their own accomplishments
  • They shy away from responsibility in occupational settings
  • Affected individuals are uneasy being alone and are preoccupied with the fear of being abandoned or rejected by others
  • Their style of thinking is naïve, uncritical, and lacks discretion

Causes:

It is commonly thought that the development of dependence in these individuals is a result of over-involvement and intrusive behavior by their primary caretakers. Caretakers may foster dependence in the child to meet their own dependency needs, and may reward extreme loyalty but reject attempts the child makes towards independence. Families of those with dependent personality disorder are often do not express their emotions and are controlling; they demonstrate poorly defined relational roles within the family unit.

Individuals with dependent personality disorder often have been socially humiliated by others in their developmental years. They may carry significant doubts about their abilities to perform tasks, take on new responsibilities, and generally function independently of others. This reinforces their suspicions that they are incapable of living autonomously. In response to these feelings, they portray a helplessness that elicits caregiving behavior from some people in their lives.

Symptoms:
  • Have difficulty making common decisions.  Needs excessive amounts of advise.
  • Need others to assume responsibility for them.  Withdraw responsibilities by acting passive and helpless.
  • Have difficulty expressing disagreement with others
  • Have difficulty initiating or doing things on their own.  Lacks self-confidence.
  • Feel helpless when alone. Because they feel incapable of caring for themselves, they experience significant anxiety when alone. To avoid being alone, they may be with people in whom they have little interest
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Am I *TOOL* dependent?

One of my colleagues struck me by saying “you are tool dependent”.   From the very moment he said that to me, I agree deep within – although I never answer or loudly answer YES.  I know what he means by that and now I’m asking myself that very question.  In order to answer that question, lets define first what being tool dependent is?

  • Explores a lot of tools, recursively
  • Is lazy
  • Yet is ideal
  • The goal is to produce or optimize things with very little effort
  • Does not focus on the subject matter but instead focuses on the tools to accomplish the problem or the subject matter
  • Kills time for tool exploration
  • Plays alot with the tools
  • Spends time doing boilerplate codes
  • A tool slave – relies on the tools very much
  • Always buying time or always lacks time
  • Never get things done
  • Couldn’t get things done without the tools
  • Having a hard time controlling oneself
  • Does not have self-discipline
  • Have an attention deficit disorder
  • Easily persuaded by tools
  • Jack of all trades, master of none
  • Critical thinker
  • Creative thinker to the point of once a problem occurs, the solution instantaeneously pops out of the brain and then performs research about what tool accomplishes the problem instead of analyzing the problem first and then acting after.
  • An action man without thinking first
  • You overly submit oneself to that way
  • Has a lot of options because of the result of finding a lot of possible tools and solutions to solving a particular problem.
  • Always planning to escape being tool dependent but cannot
  • Tends to over-analyze things

From this definition alone, I would say I am.  Well, I just made up this definition from what I understand to be a tool dependent.

Upon reflecting, here I think are ways to escape from being a tool dependent person.

  • A determination to change
  • An everyday re-assessment of goals if it gets done
  • Focus and focus on solving the subject matter by not relying from the tools
  • Organize
  • Follow up
  • Focus on personal development – by not using those tools
  • Have a general sense of whats happening – have a birds eye view
  • Think first before acting
  • Always rely to oneself.  Don’t be dependent to things – and don’t escape the situation
  • Develop a sense of independence
  • Believe in your own competency
  • Gain personal mastery and self-control

Systematic way of tackling tool dependence.

  • Being dependent on things means holding on desperately to things to give life a meaning or direction.  In this case, to give you a desired solution to the problem you are tackling.
  1. Be willing to let go of the tools.  Begin by resenting those tools that can keep you back from all that you are capable of.
  2. Have the ability to self-initiate and lead oneself.
  3. Limit the tool selection to just 3, so that at least you have the options.
  4. Don’t over-analyze things for your pleasure.
  5. Practice, practice, practice.  From what I’ve heard, all it takes to acquire a habit is to perform it for two weeks consistently.  For example, if you are lazy to brush your teeth everyday – and you want to do something about it; train your mind and *do* it for two weeks and it becomes a habit.

Wishlist status

Great keyboard that I found.  Added to my wishlist.

  • Saitek Eclipse Illuminated keyboard – very cool keyboard. http://tipidpc.com/viewitem.php?iid=4339286
  • Make a book in Photography (dedicated to my late grand father since he loves to travel and view scenery very much – although he doesn’t tell it when asked)
  • Learn Mixing and start DJ’ing
  • Behringer DDM4000 (bought 1 already, and ITS working!)
  • Allen and Heath – Xone 1D MIDI Controller – use to midi control Ableton and Traktor.  This mixer is way cool.  It has accurate controls with slight differential (about +/- 1) which is nothing compared with Behringer controls.  I can accurately control my Traktor and Ableton for this.  This also serve as a replacement for the BCD3000 that I want to buy.  I will still have to experiment on this and the midi mappings.
  • Akai MPK49 Keyboard MIDI Controller – Im thinking what’s the use of this? I might not buy it; although its very lucrative since the price is only 299USD!!! Normal price for it is 500-600USD.   For its price of 299, its a cheap buy.  Features include a drum machine, 8 faders, knobs and buttons, 49 keys including sharps.  Beats the hell out of Novation Remote SL 49.
  • Learn to construct, compose, and control myself – especially my single mindedness of thought.  This is the most important.
  • Fuck me! I need a constant reminder of what to do; what to focus on; and what to deliver and ultimately prove myself every now and then.

Goals (some other goals that I wish I could do – but not)

  • Program a stock trading simulation with customizable indicators
  • Program the inventory system based on Adempiere
  • Set my mind to spot a niche market and develop a business out of that
  • Beat my dad!!! Outwit, out smart, and out play in the life’s survival game.

Thats it for now.  I hope I could accomplish all that.

Top 100 Millionaires

Industries of the richest man

1. IT – software, tech, innovation (microsoft)
2. Investments – stocks, bonds (berkshire)
3. Telecom (mexico)
4. Furniture design – (ikea) sweden
5. Steel (india)
6. Casino, Hotels – vegas
7. LVMH
8. Clothing (Zara)
9. Investments – diversified (HK)
10.IT – software, business acquisition (Oracle)
11.Makeups – l’oreal
12.Investments diversified (saudi)
13.Aldi germany
14.Petrochemicals – india
15.Aldi germany
16.Oil – russia
17.Hennes and Mauritz sweden
18.Diversified – india
19.Investments, IT, software
20.Aldi, Trader Joe
21.IT Software – india
22.Real estate – HK
23.Retail – wal-mart
24.Retail – wal-mart
25.IT – web services (google)
26.IT – webservices (google)
27.Retail – wal-mart
28.IT – hardware (dell)
29.IT – software (microsoft)
30.Investments – casinos
31.Real estate – hk
32.Retail – france
33.Stocks – russia
34.Steel – russia
35.Rent-a-car
36.Metals
37.metals
38.retail
39.leveraged buyouts
40.Fidelity
41.Drugs
42.cox enterprises
43.oil, banking
44.oil, commodities
45.media
46.construction
47.eyewear
48.steel
49.real estate
50.banking
51.packaging
52.candy
53.candy
54.oils, metals
55.aviation
56.echoStar
57.chocolates (ferrero)
58.telecom
59.real estate
60.clothing (chanel)
61.bmw, drugs
62.nike sports

Updates for the t-shirt biz

We just bought a new Digital heat-press machine last Saturday.  We haven’t tested it yet since we still have a printer to buy.  So no t-shirt outputs yet.  We are working on it within the week and we hope to produce sample t-shirts.

The digital heat press machine transaction took about 5 hours since we opted that the merchant teaches us the basics and the fundamentals of t-shirt transfer business.  For reference, we will post the materials in the comment side.

Tasks delegation would be:  I will handle the marketing side.  Jeff will be the finance and Mike will be the operations.  Of course its not done without the output product – we will all be the production workhorse.

Using the Freemind tool, click here for Mike’s todo list.  Click here for mine.

We have updated / created the following for use:

On the side note:

My mixer just arrived last Oct. 17. I was really happy for it.  The transaction was very fast and I didn’t expect it to be – the last time I ordered from the net took more than 1 month to be delivered.  Now, the delivery works wonders – just 1 week.   I tested the Pioneer SE-DJ5000 headset for professional DJ and it wows me – until now I’m exited to test the mixer but I cant since its power input is at 120 volts.  As soon as I find an AVR power regulator, I will test it right away.  Cheers!

How to focus and keep things going

Sometimes I find myself out of focus.  The million dollar question is how do I program my mind to focus.  How do I keep things on track?  I believe that when you ask this question to yourself, you will find answers from within.

There are good books related to the topic such as Focal Point from Brian Tracy that keeps you in perspective.  Basically teaches you how to get things organized, what is important in your life and what should you focus about.  There are books also related to accomplishing things like Getting things done by David Allen, which more likes a methodology and instructs you a simple process of how to get things done without cluttering your mind.

According to this article, there are five levels of focus.  And that if you want to succeed, you should focus on these five.

  1. Lifetime
  2. Yearly
  3. Weekly
  4. Daily
  5. Currently

Lifetime.  Ahh, the most difficult thing is finding your purpose in life.  Here’s how to have a lifetime goal:

  1. Find what matters to you (so much you care about it that you are willing to do it for free) – hmm, what is it for me?
  2. Develop a portfolio of passions (I sure have lots of these)

    portfolio of passions
    portfolio of passions
  3. Find the intersection between what matters and passions.
  4. Make a mission statement (1 sentence)
  5. Refine, start from step 1.

Yearly.  Yearly level of your lifetime goals.  Develop a goal for the year related to your lifetime.

Weekly. Goals to accomplish yearly goals.

Daily. Goals to accomplish weekly goals.  Do the most important tasks that will make the most difference.

And so on.

To get optimum results, you should:

  1. Not multitask
  2. Prevent distraction
  3. Make use of the ultradian sprint to accomplish as much as possible.

Determine your weakness in these 5 levels.  Is it yearly? weekly?  Mine is that I dont set a yearly and weekly goals.  Daily just happens to be what I accomplish as things happen, not what I should do to make things happen.  In short, my lifetime goal is just a dream and I should clear this from the start to straighten things a bit.

Source: http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/